I don’t know where others are in the process of coming to peace with what’s happening out in the world or even how many people are aware that something on a much grander scale than ourselves is taking place. How many people are silently scouring the internet looking for answers about what is really happening vs. what the narrative currently is on the world stage? How many people are feeling more alone and isolated than ever before?
It can be such a strange place to be. It’s like nothing works that used to work. You know? As if trying to push us deeper and deeper into ourselves and face all the things we used to be able to avoid. It makes for an eccentric blob of weird and haunting things we’re suddenly sifting through looking for answers or some sort of understanding of the reality we’re in. Anything to make it better.
Or maybe that’s just me. I’d be fine with that too. But looking at how hard it is to relate or agree with anything or anyone, makes me suspicious about whether I really am alone in that. A time where it doesn’t seem that anyone really has any answers or solutions. Not that anyone is listening. How can we hear anything outside of our own internal screaming?
I know I’ve been pushed into some strange corners in myself the last few years. But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s one of the purposes of what is happening. To force us all into the place that we must all travel alone. The part towards the end of the solar hero’s journey. The place where you must face yourself and everything you’ve spent your whole existence running from.
A place that can too often seem like it’s impossible to survive or handle, but on it goes giving you little if any choice or control. A place where you’d do anything to make it right. Anything. A test of sanity and endurance and mastery of self.
It doesn’t mean that help isn’t in there with you, it’s just a matter of learning how to recognize how it manifests for you personally. Recognizing some sort of guidance or intuition that seems to point out what you really need or where you really need to go. It’s easier to notice when you stop thinking you actually know or have the answers. A letting go of sorts, but without giving up. A void that must be passed through.
This is what I think we may all be going through in our own way. A discovery of true inner self and and something that only we can know what or how it should be for us. A place where a mix of deep and contradicting feelings start to emerge and to judge them before they’ve fully surfaced is a disservice to self. To give our inner self a chance to speak before we shove it back down in dislike and judgment.
It takes all a person has to successfully navigate this part of the journey and because it’s alone, it can’t include the rest of the world and how it thinks things should be, because the truth is that the world as a whole doesn’t know the answer for each of us as individuals. That’s between us and the greater hidden existence. It’s where you start to learn that the world isn’t as black and white as it’s been made and that individuals can become lost in such grand deductions.
That at the end of the day, we are our own authority in union with our soul and spirit. You only need to be in agreement within yourself at that level in order to be truly okay. That it isn’t about getting everyone else to understand or agree with you before you can find peace within.
There are so many important and valuable things to be found while in the great pressure of realizing that it’s the end of everything we’ve known. There are some things we would never face if not forced to face our mortality and so there is meaning in it, even if it seems at the moment like senseless suffering. It’s not senseless. There is a point to it all.
What’s better is that you don’t even have to believe that for it to be true. There are some things that are true regardless of what you believe and those things are capable of holding strong and true until you reach the point of being able to see and know them for yourself. What a relief it was to me to learn that it wasn’t all up to me. To see that in the end, no matter what I believe and think, that it really is all okay and in a way that even I can wholeheartedly agree without sacrificing my own integrity. A satisfying win/win.
So I don’t know where everyone else is in themselves at the moment because it’s so specific and personal to each of you. But I do know that no matter how bad it may seem to you while you are in it, that you are being looked after and that after all is said and done, you will understand what it was all for and in that moment also realize the brilliance of your journey and just how much you are personally loved.
But until then, none of it may make sense to you. It’s not for you to judge, but for you to go through and experience what is being asked of you to experience. To bear it as best as you can. Believe and trust in the eternal part of yourself, even if all seems lost. When it is time for the truth to be revealed, it will be, and there’s nothing that can force it or prevent it.