I recently quit my career of 20 years as an analyst, got rid of everything I owned (with the exception of 6 small shipping boxes, 2 large suitcases, and 2 pissed off cats), left behind my friends & family and moved across a whole ocean to another country where I don’t yet know the language or what the hell my purpose is here.
Why did I do it?
Both for myself and my relationship. After four years of an intense (read: hard work) long distance relationship, I finally took the plunge and came to live with him to start our new life together. But now what? I already have a grown son and we’re not looking to start a family. I’ve survived 20 years in the break-neck speed of ‘eatbreathesleep work’ of the corporate American lifestyle that I’m not anxious to get back into despite how well it paid. So what is on the horizon of my new life?
The thing is, I’ve been nothing but meticulously responsible for the entirety of my life. Including my childhood. Always doing what I know I should, with my ability to postpone reward or pleasure in the name of responsibility being second to none. I’m severe on myself in that sense. I’m not much of a risk taker in the cool person kind of way. I am a rule follower extremist maximast. My solid reputation in the business world was founded on this mentality.
However, life has been gracious to me by having tragedy strike regularly enough in my life as to remind me just how short life really is and that it wasn’t meant to be all work and no play. That you can’t sacrifice your whole life hoping to do everything perfect and right in the effort to stave off tragedy, because life doesn’t actually work like that. Tragedy will occur no matter how hard you work. And when it does, if you haven’t done anything good or fun or worthwhile in life to refill your reservoirs, then it will make it that much harder to handle and rebound when it does inevitably strike.
And so I’ve decided to try and live my life differently before it’s too late for me and I grow into a bitter old woman who worked hard her whole life but has nothing to show for it. I decided to take a risk. Risk being a form of play. I let everything I know, go. I moved to a country that is a little less interested in deadlines and bottom lines and a little more interested in enjoying life. And riding bikes.
I took a chance on my relationship. Hoping we don’t want to strangle each other before the year is out (I’ve become more realistic in relationships vs. the love struck type), or even if we do, that we have the good sense and patience with each other to work it out. And I have no set plan or understanding yet of what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I’ve waded into unknown territory. A bit like trying to wade into ice cold water inch by inch. That part isn’t fun and as the water reaches certain heights, you shriek and run a foot or two back to the shore. But eventually you adjust to the water and get the pleasure of swimming and splashing around like an ecstatic fish.
I am ready to learn about and understand the more fun and lighter side of life. To unleash my curiosity. To share all the little treasures I learn or find as well as anything that brings me joy as I begin the journey into my new life with earnest. That’s what The Holy Heffer is about. Inconsistency. Nonsense. Randomness. ‘I did not know that!’ enlightment thrown in for good measure.
Oh who am I kidding, that’s a wish list. That’s not me yet, but it is the direction I am pointing myself. If along the way I can help others laugh and relax at my follies, then so much the better. I have to start flexing my ‘make new friends’ muscles anyways, so why not start right here with you?
I would like to extend a warm welcome to you from The Holy Heffer, I hope you enjoy your stay however long or short it may be!